Gavin’s Gaily Gigest

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Like an uncomfortable prostate examination the European Union has shot up our lubricated agenda and will dominate political discussion for the next few months. That is unless it’s discovered Hazel Blears or some other luckless minister accepted donations from Bob the Builder acting on behalf of Sergeant Bilko.
This all started two and […]

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From political donations one week to organ donations the next, this column knows no subject it will not viciously maul like a rabid Frenchman at an underage brothel.
Gordon Brown wants our organ, or rather organs plural, as he doesn’t want us to touch his soft, warm, freshly lubricated arsehole with our hardened […]

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Donations to political parties have reared their ugly, corrupted head once again, this time involving the walnut-coated Work and Pensions Secretary Peter Hain and Piers Fletcher-Dervish impersonator and Tory Shadow Chancellor George Osborne. Actually, calling political donations “ugly” isn’t quite right. If anything, donations are the diamond-encrusted face-lifted darling of the political […]

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thelondonpaper and London Lite are two freesheet papers that have been littering our capital’s streets and trains since 4th September 2006. Distributed by brightly-jacketed twentysomethings with a cheery attitude and philanthropic obsession, they’re like Scientologists without the spaceships and Tom Cruise. Stationed outside every Tube and train entrance, they encourage rudeness in every Londoner (who […]

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Barely 12 hours to go before another new year rolls around, predictably enough coming almost 366 days after the last one. Another year of floods in the summer, partisan punch-ups in Parliament and Ant and fucking Dec to look forward to.
Doubtless there will be something new to make the year seem less monotonous than it […]

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Sticking the knife in good and early…
Proving that white, middle class men can finally go far in our society, after decades of discrimination and underachievement, Nick Clegg has been elected leader of the Liberal Democrats by a margin so thin as to be insignificant - 511 votes. On the bright side, under the Florida system […]

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Ten years ago we didn’t worry too much about religion, well, unless we lived in Northern Ireland and wanted to know which bunch of Christians to lock up (the Catholics, for those playing the home game). Today however, the news is full of religion, whether it be a teacher imprisoned for calling a teddy bear […]

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The USA has been up to their old tricks again, this time claiming that they have the right to invade the UK and forcibly remove someone from our territory. Via Iain Dale comes this Sunday Times story:
“[The United States of] America has told Britain that it can “kidnap” British citizens if they are wanted for […]

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After 11th September 2001, the world suffered a collective failure of common and declared war on an abstract noun: “terrorism”. The British Government joined in this intellectual insult and decided to do the terrorists job for them by introducing a range of counter-terrorism measures available from the “you couldn’t make it up” shelf.
One of my […]

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Continuing my run of pissing on the tent from the outside…
I feel I’ve been too harsh on old Huhne these past few days, so fuck it, let’s give Clegg a well-deserved kicking too. The way I see it, if I attack them both, I’m bound to be in for job with whoever wins - I’m […]

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