Gavin’s Gaily Gigest

The new edition of Politalks, your weekly satirical news roundup, is here. This week we rip into Labour’s latest worst week, as the Tories and Lib Dems utterly fail to capitalise on the Government’s bad fortune:

Feel free to share and share alike, and for those who are interested, here’s the transcript:
It was David versus Goliath […]

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Gordon Brown mouthpiece cheerleader Jackie Ashley, writing in today’s Guardian, implores Government MPs to think of what matters most when deciding how to vote on the 10p tax rate abolition and 42 day detention without charge. Not the country’s best interests based on a cost-benefit analysis or evidence supported argument, but the Labour Party:
"Discipline under […]

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I wasn’t going to write about the Serious Fraud Office / BAE Systems High Court judgment last week*, but then Jo posted the thoughts of her BAE-employed friend on the case. In summary, they say that bribery is okay with non-democratic countries because everyone else is doing it and it’s the only way to safeguard […]

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See if you can guess which one’s the malfunctioning peeper:

"Sarah Connor, come with me if you want to survive the recession*"

* Unless you are a single-person earning under £18,500, in which case you can smile and go fuck yourself (not a verbatim quote from the Prime Minister).

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Listen to the show:

 

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Alistair Darling’s first Budget and Balls’ outburst.

Jacqui Smith announces how ID Cards will roll out (watch Taking Liberties!) and Dizzy’s critique.

Clegg wants to cut the slash the number of MPs following his weekend conference speech.

Tories lose another MP.

Mixed polls for all the parties.

If […]

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Alistair Darling has prematurely revealed the details of today’s Budget:

Punitive tax on runaway eyebrows.
Emissions limits on ministers’ hot air and cremations for alcoholics to be banned in order to meet the government’s Kyoto obligations.
Reverse the UK’s -$111,000,000,000 current account deficit by putting a vertical line through the minus symbol.
Introduce a ’showroom tax’ of up to […]

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We might be the fifth largest economy in the world, but we’re also one of only three countries whose current account deficit is over $100 billion. We are spared the ignominy of having the largest current account deficit thanks only to the fiscal folly of Spain and the US. From the CIA World Factbook:

Can anyone […]

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