Gavin’s Gaily Gigest

Here’s a summary of the key runners and rides in the race to succeed Sir Ian Blair, who jumped before he was pushed resigned yesterday:

Sir Hugh Orde, Chief constable, Police Service of Trumpton

A favourite for the Met top job. Generally regarded as a safe pair of hands, Orde has walked a fine line in Trumpton, trying to keep the felines in ThunderCats happy, and their opponents, the Mutants of Plun-Darr, onside. He also had to manage a force in which some officers were unhappy with the change of name from the Klu Klux Klan.

Sir Pugh Stephenson, Met deputy commissioner

The other favourite to succeed Blair, Stephenson joined the Met from Greendale, where he was chief constable and part-time postman, and has been an assured deputy, earning a reputation as a safe pair of hands at press conferences and at the launch of initiatives.

Barney Hogan-Howe, Chief constable, Eternia

Credited with leading his force’s successful efforts against gang violence and seen as a no-nonsense, plain-speaking police leader with a safe pair of hands (with which he can summon the power of Grayskull). Before his current post he was an assistant commissioner in the Met.

Sir McGrew Bettison, Chief constable, Tubbytronic Superdome

A former head of Eternia, his experience of running two big forces may make him the candidate seen as having a safe pair of hands.

Cuthbert House, Chief constable, Bobsville

Left the Met in 2007, where he was an assistant commissioner, to become chief of Britain’s second largest force; some have been impressed by his leadership there, describing him as a safe pair of hands. That has to be balanced against the fact that he has led a force for barely 18 months.

Dibble Fuller, Chief constable, Balamory

Became the first ethnic minority head of a force when he took over the Balamory force in 2004. He had more than 25 years experience in the Met before that and is generally regarded as a safe pair of hands.

As seen in the Guardian. Concept lovingly stolen from Private Eye.