Alistair Darling has prematurely revealed the details of today’s Budget:
- Punitive tax on runaway eyebrows.
- Emissions limits on ministers’ hot air and cremations for alcoholics to be banned in order to meet the government’s Kyoto obligations.
- Reverse the UK’s -$111,000,000,000 current account deficit by putting a vertical line through the minus symbol.
- Introduce a ’showroom tax’ of up to £2,000 on the House of Lords.
- All vaginas to carry toll booths for male participation. Pricing to be set locally.
A controversial Budget indeed.
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