Gavin’s Gaily Gigest

For this coming week’s Politalks Lee and I couldn’t agree on this paragraph, but I’d hate to lose it, so for your reading pleasure, a deleted scene in raw word format:

"A Brighton County Court case against the Government presented an opportunity for the intellectually redundant right-wing to demonstrate their unique talent for doublethink. During oral argument, counsel for the government told the court that “manifesto pledges are not subject to legitimate expectation”, which the right wing took to be an admission that manifestos aren’t binding, the kind of interpretation only possible if you’ve spent the last eleven years with your head lodged inside your own anal cavity, having your testicles flicked with a wet towel whilst David Davis drills the slogan "Labour is bad, m’kay" deep inside your already voluminous arse. Put another way, that interpretation  is gold-plated, diamond encrusted bollocks, manifestos are binding, but in the political, rather than legal sphere. A contrary position would turn liberal, soft soap, pansy judges into lawmakers, something such esteemed organs [onscreen: "Dicks"] as The Daily Mail and The Sun are constantly reminding us is a bad thing."